Sunday, January 24, 2010

“Holy Guacamole! That’s One Bad-Ass Burger! It Might Even Be Takin’ the Bacon…”

Some may consider setting the bar too high too early on a disservice for things to come, but with cooking, it’s near impossible to eat your way to the very top with a single dish. There is always something else to make you salivate. Savor your culinary pinnacles. Involving nearly all of your senses, these food fantasies will be some of your most vivid memories.
You might be wondering how a burger could climb its way to becoming an ultimate belly bomb. Well, you could grill me with questions, or try it for yourself. Fact is that this was no ordinary burger. This burger was the creation of my favorite fellow chef-mate, and was a burger with the works. Stacked at least six inches high, this defined deliciously messy eating. With the first bite, you hear the clear crunch of crispy bacon and toasted bun. Second bite: globs of melted cheese encapsulate a juicy meaty burger, encrusted with a slightly salty exterior. Third bite: the smell of tart lime and ripe avocado greet your nose, while your tongue is refreshed with a cool guacamole sauce, all of which are accented by a bite of spicy pepper and a tasty fried onion ring. And those are just your first three bites; there are many more to follow.
My taste buds were torn between packing my cheeks with burger bliss and leisurely enjoying the mouthfuls of flavors that kept drizzling down my face. Paired with Refried Beans on the side, this southwestern-style burger meal was well worth the 30 minutes of cooking and cost of $10 per plate. However, this isn’t the kind of meal you want to eat on-the-go, nor is it a meal you want to enjoy alone. It’s a meal where you sit for a good while in silence; your conversation is only mutual smiles and "mmms". Afterward, you settle in for a post-dinner nap. No matter what you ate that day, it’s as if your stomach restarts and somehow you have room to eat and savor every bite of this burger.
Backyard burgers will never be the same.
Recommendations: seed the chilies/peppers to lessen the spiciness; make the guacamole prior to eating to allow the flavors to embolden; try other cheeses on the burger such as Pepper Jack; and if possible, grill burgers over charcoal or hickory chips.
Bacon Guacamole Cheeseburger
2 ripe avocados, chopped
½ red onion, diced
Juice from 2 limes
2 Serrano chilis or 1 jalapeno pepper, minced
Salt and pepper
¼ c fresh cilantro, chopped
1 tomato, seeded and chopped
¼ c sour cream ***Part of guacamole sauce***
1. Peel and chop avocados, onion, and chilies/peppers. Put into bowl.
2. Slice limes in half, use fork to extract juice from limes. Do this over the bowl of veggies.
3. With potato masher or fork, mash the avocados.
4. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Add cilantro. Continue to mash until desired consistency is reached.
5. Add chopped tomato. Mix. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Put in fridge.
6. Allow flavors to culminate in fridge for as long as desired.
7. Before serving, mix with ¼ cup of sour cream to create the sauce.

1 lb ground chuck [the higher fat content, the more tasty it becomes!]
1 t salt
1 t pepper
1/8 t cumin
¼ t chili powder
3 slices of Colby Jack Cheese
Onion, 1 slice – about 6 rings
2 T flour
6 strips of bacon
3 Kaiser rolls, sliced
4 leaves of Cilantro
1. Mix together first five ingredients in large size mixing bowl.
2. Work the meat in hands until conglomerates and becomes tenderized.
3. Form into 3 balls, press into patty shape with hands. Lightly salt the burgers.
4. In skillet, heat about 1 T olive oil.
5. Put flour in bowl. Coat onion rings in flour. Add to skillet, cook until tender with a crispy exterior. Remove from skillet.
6. Add bacon to skillet. Fry until nearly crispy, take off heat. ***the bacon will continue to cook even after you take it out of the pan, so by taking it out just a bit early helps you achieve the perfect crispiness!***
7. Drain off bacon grease, but SAVE at least 2 TABLESPOONS in skillet. Keep grease hot.
8. In another skillet/frying pan, throw a few pinches of salt onto the pan and then cook burgers. About 5 min per side.
9. Put rolls into bacon grease and fry them for about 2-3 min, until crispy.
10. Add cheese to burgers, let melt.
11. Plate. Bottom roll, burger, onion rings, guacamole sauce, bacon, cilantro. Put the top roll to the side until ready to be ravenously eaten.
Refried Beans
1 T olive oil
¼ c onion, chopped
½ clove garlic, diced
2 cans [15 oz.] black beans, DO NOT DRAIN
½ c cheese [Queso Fresca or cheddar]
1. Heat olive oil in saucepot. Sautee onions until translucent, about 5 min.
2. Throw in garlic, brown for about 1 min.
3. Add first can of black beans. Bring to a boil.
4. Once some of the liquid has boiled off, add the next can. Allow some of the liquid to boil off this as well.
5. Mash with potato masher, spoon, or my personal favorite, the can of beans itself until your mixture reaches desired consistency.
6. Add cheese to help thicken the mix. Continue to mash the beans.
7. Serve alongside your favorite Mexican meal.


  1. Your number one fan!January 25, 2010 at 7:06 AM

    Do you hire yourself out as a personal chef? This looks scrumptious!
    How did you feel AFTER?

  2. It was one of the few times I felt both full and satisfied, but not stuffed. The burger, in itself, is a meal worth savoring, even long after the chewing stops. I also admit that afterward I did take a nice long nap!